How I failed at being a serial killer, or, Why I am a comedian
Being born: I'll never do that again
The countless stages of death
All this venereal disease and no one to share it with
It's not me, it's the U.S.A.
Little airline bottles in the Big Apple
Screwing up, down, and all over town
Once you've seen one sunrise, you're tired all day
Follow your dreams, especially if they take Gower
Nowhere to go but up yours
Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have actual medicine
Working 10:00 to 10:15, what a way to make a living
Equality is for underachievers, am I right, ladies?
Midseason programming in the garden of good and evil
Appendix A: How to deal with a heckler
Appendix B: How to get representation
Appendix C: How to properly give a compliment to a working comedian
Appendix D: Ho w to properly receive a compliment if you are a working comedian.
